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Boomer Heartache: Woodstock’s 50th Anniversary cancelled

By the time we get to Woodstock we’ll all be geezers…

Gimmee an eff – F

Gimmee an ay – A

Gimmee an eye – I

Gimmee an el – L

What’s it spell?


— apologies to Country Joe & the Fish

It looks like the Boomer’s Last Gasp at Recapturing the Most Worthless Generation’s Glory Days in the fields and pastures of Max Yasger’s farm is going to fall short and stoner icon Wavy Gravy won’t have to worry about once again ordering breakfast in bed for five hundred thousand.

This Boomer says: Thank you Ghost of Jimi Hendrix.

From Billboard:

“It’s a dream for agencies to work with iconic brands and to be associated with meaningful movements. We have a strong history of producing experiences that bring people together around common interests and causes which is why we chose to be a part of the Woodstock 50th Anniversary Festival.  But despite our tremendous investment of time, effort and commitment, we don’t believe the production of the festival can be executed as an event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name while also ensuring the health and safety of the artists, partners and attendees.”

The statement goes on, “As a result and after careful consideration, Dentsu Aegis Network’s Amplifi Live, a partner of Woodstock 50, has decided to cancel the festival.  As difficult as it is, we believe this is the most prudent decision for all parties involved.”

Got that, all you aging hippies with grey pony-tails and, at this point, real Granny Glasses – The Man has co-opted The Brand and there ain’t gonna be no reprise of Three Days of Peace, Love and Music.

Because the Big Cigar Promoters with all the greenbacks realized that Woodstock at 50 was gonna suck and they were gonna lose their collective shirts.

Somehow this has got to be Trump’s fault…

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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