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2017 Year in Review, Part Three

July

Pussy-hat wearing protestors protested Trump early in the heat of July, apparently because of a speech made by Trump where he praised veterans and America, something the protesting snowflakes hate (PAGAN- People Against Goodness and Niceness).

He also had the nerve (the NERVE!!) of holding another rally in Ohio. Refreshments were offered but the Son of a bitch Mailman ate all the food and the table it came on.

The Professional Pusillaneous Punditry were trying to figure out why the economy was getting better while no progress was being made on Tax Relief™.  It never occurred to them that the regulation relief could be making an impact, something that even gradeschoolers could figure out.

The puzzlement continued as the stock market kept holding its own, thumbing its nose at the professionals who said it would tank for sure by now. Or sometime. They are sure of it.

They tried to sacrifice a virgin, but the virgin beat the shit out of them, so they tried to sacrifice a tranny, who still beat the shit out of them.

They then tried to sacrifice Rosie, but the forklift boom broke in half.

Trump also moved to strike the Johnson Amendment from the record, and the left were apoplectic about it.

They felt that anyone should be able to flash their Johnson anytime they wanted. And to have the second scoop of ice cream, Trump said that America was going to say the racial epithet “Merry Christmas” again, and the leftist weeped and wailed again, pointing their face to the sky and giving a good soul-crushing cry.

Polls continued to say that Hitler was better than Trump who had a -56% favorability rating, the economy was skunking, and he was The Most Hated Man in America.

Meanwhile, he kept the train rolling into…

 


August

Trump wins again, names Mulvaney to CFPB, CFPB director can't name successor

Another poll said Trump was his own worst enemy. Since he steamrolled 16 other candidates and then the Clinton juggernaut, he needs an enemy to challenge himself because he was a bigly enemy.

Then, CNN announced that Trump had a complete meltdown.

Again. Fake News. Again.

And Trump had the nerve to tweet (gasp!!) INSULTS!! He’s never done that before! He’s melting down!!!! Like the Opiod crisis or something!!

More Obamacare exchanges fled a state for no damn reason other than Trump hates children.

Millions die after Anthem leaves Nevada.

The media again pushes “Trump is mentally unstable!!”  because he was moving to keep his promises, something that the media had never seen before. Only madmen kept their promises. Politicians are elite sophisticates who must lie because, well, that’s the way it has always been done!

Psychics began to “see” Trump being impeached before the year ends.

The Witches employed earlier in the year failed in their cursing, because Trump used the Elderwand to bounce the spell onto the Democrats and Bill Kristol.

Trump then had the Nerve!! To hold another rally in Arizona where he fired up his base, pissed off liberals and nevertrumpers again and floated the idea of pardoning Sheriff Joe!

UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!

…Screamed the cuck, liberals, and punditry!

Impeach!!!!

…But even the lefty Dershowitz said Trump had all authority to do so.

The 9th Struck down Dershowitz, put a restraining order on him, and put him in a boxcar.

Trump then brought up Charlottseville and what a race it was! Oh wait a minute. A bunch of whiteys used their constitutional right and marched, destroying a bunch of civil war statue and rioted!

…Oh wait. That was the Left again.

Trump was doomed for sure this time. They had him here! He would be impeached!! But the Roadrunner escaped again to “meep” another day.

Politico and CNN offered Trump advice, which was rightly called out as Fake News by Trump and his Mighty Deplorables who then girded their loins and charged right into…

 


September

democrats are screwed

Trump took on the NFL. He took it head-on and clotheslined the shit out of it, calling out the kneelers and anti-Americans.

Holy shit, this time he stepped in it for good! He’s done!

Judge Watson issued the order that Trump was finally finished! He finally went a Bridge Too Far and they had him!

…Except people began to not show up or watch it on TV. But they had him for sure!

But the ratings began to fall like a Weinstein victims pants.

Sports announcers began to be overly political and the great debate was out for all to see. Trump began winning bigly on the issue, because sportscasters are dumb.

Trump did try to rally for Luther but it did not help as Moore handily won, sending shockwaves through the GOP-E.

Politico stated that Trump wouldn’t like Mexico being mad, which Trump laughed at and said something about shoving NAFTA up their wazoos or something like that, according to a source familiar with the matter.

In a shocking poll, it was found that Trump was still holding his base despite meeting with Dems! HOW THE HELL COULD THIS BE?! (thought the democrats)

People began looking for a Keebler Elf on a milk carton because Mueller was hiring democrat hacks to find nothing.

But a YUUUGE event was when Trump rescinded DACA, giving Congress 6 months to “fix” it.

Many were not sure of this strategy. Many were not sure it should be given to Congress. But many felt if anyone can screw up DACA, it would be Congress because they screwed up the repeal of Obamacare.

Billions more died after Trump made the announcement.

And just for fun, Trump made new provisions for his Muslim Country ban, killing millions more. Again, there was immense weeping and screaming across the land.

The S&P reached a record high and the Dow just missed its record high, despite September being billed as a bad month in general due to October volatility, or something like that.

Again, the professionals and experts were left baffled while people saw their 401K’s rising.

Heh.

 

*** To Be Continued ***

 

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