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Get Shorty!

The Donk Debate was popcorntastic

Around Sparta it’s “you snooze, you looze” so my post-debate post-mortem post is riding as the caboose on today’s train of offerings.

If ya’ll haven’t finished chewing on the leftovers from the Donk Nightmare in Nevada yet here’s Your Uncle Bruno’s take:

Winner: Joe Biden made a rare foray into semi-coherence last night.  Joementum lives!

Winner: Lizzy Warren decided to ride the surfboard Tulsi Gabbard used on Kamala Harris all over Mike Bloomberg. Horse faced lesbians everywhere have found their champion. (No word on the lying dog-faced pony soldier vote yet though…)

No Change: Bernie ranted and gesticulated and generally ran his usual socialist shtick effectively.  It was a three yards and a cloud of dust performance – solid but not flashy.  He’s still The Favorite for The Whole Enchilada.

No Change: Mayor Pete stuck to his talking points and while he didn’t lose ground he didn’t gain any either. (Pete also sported the worst five o’clock shadow since Dick Nixon in 1960…)

Loser: As for Amy, Klomentum came to a screeching halt.  Emphasis on screeching…

The Biggest Loser: Bloomie found out what it was like to be tossed into a school of piranhas last night.  It was quick, bloody and painful.  And the still twitching corpse’s bones were picked at randomly for the remaining one hour and fifty minutes.

All in all it was a more gruesome affair than The Chainsaw Scene in SCARFACE.

It was glorious…


Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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