Nuclearized Ants Swarming Russia!

It’s not a movie anymore!

Back in the Salad Days when I was a young and randy yoot I would put potential girlfriends to the Saturday Night Creature Feature Test to see if they would be “psychologically compatible”.

You hafta remember that this was back in the days before The Internets and even cable TV so the only way you could see such Grade Z monster classics as Godzilla (Raymond Burr original), Rodan, The Monolith Monsters and the rest was by viewing them via aerial TV midnight showings.

One of the top-shelf Creature Features was Them! (think an urbanized nuked-up ants version of Tremors).

There is a a whole video catalog of wonderfulness waiting to be discovered  by The Millennials and the After Millennials who have been coddled with PC Star Wars and now PC Terminators.

So it was only natural the Your Uncle Bruno’s heart skipped a beat when confronted by this headline:

1 million ‘cannibal’ ants found trapped in Soviet-era bunker used to store nuclear weapons

Leave it to the Rooskies to set up a gigantic nuke-leer-eyesed Doomsday Race!

James Whitmore and James Arness we need you now!

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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