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My Faith is Restored

Strong backs, weak minds

My wife and I are in the process of remodeling our house in preparation for selling it. We’ve been in the house for some 20 years and it turns out that our “new” house is now an “old” house with lots of outdated stuff. I’m not at all sure how that happened.

In any instance, it also seems I’m not quite as spry as I was 20 years ago and things were moving along at a much slower pace than they needed to be much of which just involved getting a lot of heavy things out of the house and into the garage. Somehow they also increased in weight over the years. Since w = mg where the weight equals mass times gravity and since the mass of the objects probably hasn’t changed all that much, it can only be true that gravity has increased in the last 20 years. This also explains why it’s harder to get out of bed.

At the spur of the moment, I decided to post on Facebook in a local chat group to see if there were any teenagers out that that want to earn a few bucks. The requirements were:

  1. Strong backs
  2. Weak minds
  3. Ability to destroy things

A mom replied that said she had three teenagers that perfectly fit that description and they’d be more than willing to help.

When the four of them arrived, I asked the mom whether she wanted to go over what I was looking to have done. She said “no, they were perfectly able to think for themselves.” I was a tad taken aback only because that’s pretty well what my mom would have said. If I was stupid enough to do something that got me hurt, then “you won’t do that next time; will you?”

I mentioned that I did have some unstable World War II ammunition in the basement and she volunteered the younger of the three for that job. The two older kids were really disappointed!

All three kids were polite, articulate, self motivated and generally just a joy to be around. The best part, of course, is that I could also give them back! If there was ever any reason to use the expression “busted their butts,” this was it. They did more in four hours than I could have done in two weeks and they had fun doing it. Sure it was work but they made a few bucks and felt pretty good about helping an old guy out.

It was so refreshing to hear one of the boys say he was really interested in biology and found chemistry really exciting. The other older boy wants to be a doctor and I have every confidence he will be. I said “I guess you’re just waiting to get old enough to drive” to the youngest and he said “nope, I just want to survive Middle School!” Wise ass. He reminds me of me.

At one point, the boys started looking at some 35mm cameras I had. I was going to throw them away since even though they were expensive in their day, they’re not worth anything any longer. They were really amazed by the entire concept of film. I guess you can still buy 35mm film and I’m sure you can still get it developed somewhere. In any case, I gave them the cameras and they were really thrilled just for the joy of learning something new.

When dad came by to pick up the kids, one of the older ones turned and said “Before we go, can we see the unstable WWII ammunition?”

He was really disappointed that I actually didn’t have anything like that in the house. I was a bit disappointed too because I was really feeling the urge to go out and blow something up just because my parents couldn’t tell me not to. Or maybe I just needed to learn about something that I’d never do again.

 
Mark Rosneck

Written by Mark Rosneck

Site owner and whipping boy. Posting entirely in whiteface.

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