Mitt Romney is The Girl that Wilt Chamberlain turned down

It’s always a stretch to use a generationally-specific metaphor when making a joke or snide remark (in this case both) because you leave yourself open to having to explain and, as Mick Jagger famously said: “Never apologize and never explain.”

OK, well, His Satanic Majesty may not have said that but he cudda – so there’s that.

Anyway, for those Not In the Know, NBA Hall of Fame hoopster Wilt Chamberlain was the LeBron James of his era (1960’s & early 1970’s).

Wilt the Stilt stood a towering 7′ 1″ inches tall back at a time when the most statuesque of pro cage centers rarely topped 6′ 10″.

Wilt’s second most famous lifetime accomplishment was to once score exactly 100 points in a single game (you can look it up) – a record that still stands tall today.

Geez, The Gentle Reader thinks, if scoring 100 points in a game was Wilt’s Number Two lifetime accomplishment what perchance would be Number One?

Glad you asked, because the answer is where Wilt the Stilt and Senator (and failed Presidential candidate) Mitt Romney intersect.

You see Wilt was also a Prolific Scorer in the bedroom (and bathroom and the shower stall and the back seat of cars and hall closets – you get the picture) whereby when the Dapper Dunker toddled off to His Final Rest (which he musta needed) he claimed to have boffed better than 20,000 women in his primary career as a Swordsman.

If you are SABRmetriclly inclined you can also look that up.

Apparently Wilt’s opening line was something of a paraphrase of a famous May West quip: “Forget about the seven feet, let’s talk about the seven inches.”

Which is the Long Road to the #NeverTrump antics of the pathetic and semi-irrelevant Mitt Romney, who predictably and haplessly dissed The Donald in a WaPo editorial on New Year’s Day thereby making himself (as predicted) The New John McCain and also giving him a new, well deserved identity and moniker:

The Girl that Wilt Chamberlain turned down.

Yeah baby…



Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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