in

License to Swill: James Bond’s blood alcohol content is higher than .007

Pity poor Miss Moneypenny and M:

“Bond’s workplace (MI6) should be a more responsible employer by referring him to work-funded counselling or psychiatric support services for managing his alcohol use disorder,” according to the study. “These services should also determine whether he has any post-traumatic stress after killing so many people and having been tortured so often.”

That’s the conclusion of a new and very unnecessary SJW study published in the Medical Journal of Australia.

(The study can be downloaded by clicking the link embedded in this WaPo report titled Shaken Not Slurred.)

In the never ending quest to quash anything that reeks of masculinity, heteronormativeness and good old fashioned fun and excitement the not quite tongue in cheek study finds James Bond’s penchant for Adult Beverages to be problematic and dependent.

It seems over the course of six decades Sean Connery and The Lesser Bonds have displayed a disappointing lack of responsible drinking.

According to the report’s lead author Nick Wilson our favorite killer licensee is a chronic risk taker who’s naughty behavior is only worsened by copious consumption of shaken martinis:

“frequently drinking prior to fights, driving vehicles (including in chases), high-stakes gambling, operating complex machinery or devices, contact with dangerous animals, extreme athletic performance and sex with enemies, sometimes with guns or knives in the bed,”

This whole kerfluffle might be laughable were it not for the rising wokeness on the Millennial Left’s attempts to quietly snuff out films that are found offensive to The New Standards of Political Correctness:

At least Her Majesty’s Favorite Secret Servant doesn’t smoke –

anything but Morlands…

 

 

 
Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

42 Comments

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

Loading…

mitt romney utah senate race

Lamentations of a Utahn

Democrat Impeachment Circle Jerk

Let The Democrat Impeachment Circle Jerk Begin!