Brunostradamus Predictions for 2019

All seeing, all knowing, Brunostradamus, the Seer of Sparta has made ready his Peek Behind the Veil for what 2019 holds in store!

A stiff drink may be necessary before proceeding.

For Brunostradamus that is.

What, you didn’t see that coming?

You thought Brunostradamus was buying a round?

All the more reason to leave Prognostication to a Professional!

Also, Be It Known that Brunostradamus doesn’t do quatrains…

Let us begin!

First, The Big Ones:

President Donald Trump will be impeached by the House of Representatives. The Articles of Impeachment will be filed in June (about 6 weeks after The Mueller Investigation wraps up mid-spring).

In October the Senate votes to acquit President Trump with 62 votes for guilty/for removal, 35 votes for not guilty/against removal and three abstentions.

(The charges laid out in the Articles of Impeachment really don’t matter, as this is a Soft Coup and having been Shown the Man the Showing of the Crime is a mere formality.)

The Rest:

The Government Shutdown will extend past the State of the Union address and the Democrats will eventually cave, preferring to keep their powder dry for the coming impeachment public relations battle.

Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama will all announce for the Democrat Nomination in 2020, essentially Clearing The Field of lesser candidates such as Beto, Kamala and Liawatha.

Bernie and Spartacus do not run.

On the GOP side The Mailman’s Son will announce (in December) a Primary Challenge to President Trump.

Low Energy Jeb! will consider, but eventually concludes he doesn’t have the mojo to make a go of it.


An opening on the Supreme Court also appears in October following the departure of an elderly Justice.  The Democrats lobby hard for holding off on filing the seat until 2021.  The Republicans, sensing the need to show at least the appearance of a spine after the “impeachment close call”, confirm “lame duck” Trump’s “illegitimate” nominee Amy Coney Barrett.

The Big Beautiful Wall on the border between Mexico and the United States will be started but be nowhere near completed by the end of 2019.

A member of President Trump’s immediate family will fall gravely ill or meet with a serious accident after the failed impeachment.

In pro sports the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, the Golden State Warriors win the NBA title, the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup and the Milwaukee Brewers win the World Series.

In college sports Alabama’s Crimson Tide are crowned National Football Champs and the University of Virginia sweeps through the March Madness hoops dance card.

Do you really care who wins the Oscar’s, the Emmy’s, the Golden Globe’s or the Grammies?

Brunostradamus doesn’t.

However there will be anti-Trump, anti-Wall and anti-ICE rants at all of those events.

The Yellow Vest protests will spread to all the countries in the European Union.

There will be a spate terrorist violence throughout western Europe, particularly Sweden and Germany.  The Authorities will express puzzlement as to the cause and nature of the perpetrators.

In Merry Olde England a vote on Brexit 2 will narrowly fail.

Senator Mitt Romney will be The New John McCain.

The Word of the Year will be “embattled”.

Of no real consequence but because Brunostradamus has watched the whole damn thing this far, Tyrion Lannister (the dwarf) will die in the Game of Thrones final season. His sister Cersei Lannister will be The Last One Standing when the final credits roll.

Brunostradamus will finally be allowed both gruel and green bread.

“So it is written, so shall it be done.”







Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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