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Decoding Barack

I’m going to help former President Obama out…

Since everyone knows that he is both a towering intellectual and the most inspiring speaker ever, (of course it’s true; that was the entire narrative from the time he announced his candidacy until….well…today, in the biased media,) I’m going to do a little work on the important, world changing comments he made at the Obama Foundation on November 20.

Stopping his ongoing efforts to reduce sea levels by the force of his magnetic personality, Obama offered the following, in response to a question about climate change;

“The reason we don’t” invest in climate change policies, Obama said, “is because we are still confused, blind, shrouded with hate, anger, racism — mommy issues.”

“I mean, we — we are we are fraught with stuff,” he continued, “And — and so if that’s the case then the single most important thing that we have to invest in is not all — and look I’m a huge supporter of science and technological research and social science and, you know, evidence-based learning and all that good stuff. I’m — I’m — people call me Spock for a reason, I believe in reason and logic and all these enlightenment values, but the thing that really we have to invest in is people. We got to get people to figure out how they work together — in a — you know, how do we get people to work together in a cooperative, thoughtful, constructive way.

I’ll come back to the first sentence in a moment. Let’s fix the horror of the second paragraph, first. Clean it up!

“We are we are fraught with stuff,” he continued, “If that’s the case then the single most important thing that we have to invest in is is people. We’ve got to get people to figure out how to get people to work together in a cooperative, thoughtful, constructive way.

Put that way, it’s almost (as the philosopher Joe Biden would have it,) articulate and clean.

Now I can suggest the following to the former President.

  1. If you want people to work together, in a thoughtful, constructive way, you might not want to suggest that the people who disagree with your one-sided insistence on using questionable pseudo-science to seize wealth as “confused, blind, shrouded with hate, anger, racism – mommy issues.”

  2. Not sure what you mean by being “fraught with stuff,” or what it has to do with climate change policy. Do you mean that our standards of living, our possessions, our material wealth is the problem? If that’s the case – you first! Divest of your wealth, get rid of your motor vehicles, stop flying around spreading division. Do it – and ask your sycophantic apparatchiks from Hollywood, Academe, and the Coastal Enclaves of Privilege to join you.

  3. You are not Spock; you’re not even the petulant man-child Q. You are, it turns out, a shallow confidence trickster with three names: Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

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