The True Story of the First Moon Landing

“Astronauts travel to the moon where they discover it is inhabited by attractive young women in black tights.”

Little Know True Historical Fact: long before Ryan Gosling was a glint in his Daddy’s’ eye the first docu-drama chronicling Astronauts reaching The Moon hit America’s silver screens.

Cat Women of the Moonstarring such notable Hollywood overachievers as Sonny Tufts, Victor Jory and Marie Windsor, made the present iteration – First Man – look like a low budget Canadian art house flop.

Of course We All Know that the “original” moon landing in 1969 was faked on a gigantic sound stage using state-of-the-art special effects technology.

The Game was slyly given away a decade latter in Capricorn One, whereby OJ hunts the lunar surface in vain pursuit of The Real Killer.

Thanks to a highly-nuanced marketing campaign, Goslings’s First Man appears on track to shatter the box office take of the moon’s Cat Women (first released n 1953).

Exit Question: How really, really incredibly stupid do you have to be to completely blunder such a sure-thing box office slam dunk like the story of America’s first moon landing?

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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