Smile! Minnesota is the Nation’s Happiest State (with commentary by Minnesota’s grumpiest pundit)

There is no rational explanation for it really:

 Denmark is the world’s happiest country… and Minnesota is America’s happiest state? The Land of 10,000 Lakes may lack the glitzy allure of a New York or Los Angeles, but it beats out the rest of the nation when it comes to overall life satisfaction, a new study finds.

Minnesota scored the highest (73.3), with South Dakota, Colorado, Utah, and North Dakota rounding out the top five. The least happy states were Louisiana, Rhode Island, West Virginia, Alabama, and Mississippi, respectively, each scoring below 34.

When you are deliriously happy to live in a place where vampire mosquitoes rule the summer and wind chills routinely hit -30 in the winter there is a deep seeded psychosis at play.

“Ya shure Lena, da dang skeeters flew off vit da prize heifer but doncha  know vee’ll be laughing abow dit ven yer freezin’ yer tits off in February!”

I swear, there must be something magical about Loon Dust because it makes people happy to vote DFL and do all kindza other batshit krazy stuff ta boot – like eat rotted cod soaked in lye as a Holiday Treat.

Not to mention we tricked a whole buncha the Somalis inta relocating here from equatorial Africa.

The Lutheran Social Services and Catholic Charities social workers warned them about the Minnesota Ice but I guess the translation came out Minnesota’s Nice.

You betcha.


Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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