Three Reasons why Trump is the Greatest President Ever

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Just like the Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (orange billboards!) I’ll offer up Three Reasons Why Trump is the Greatest President Ever.

I’m compelled to provide this Early Report Card because at this time it is unknown if mankind, er, cis kind, er, ze kind (ah fuggettabowditt)  will survive The Orange Menace.

Therefore these blog observations I’m making are for the sake of future history – if any.

Numbero Uno: Trump has given voice to the idea that border sovereignty matters.  Wall or not wall, this genie issue is outta the bottle and not even Bill Murray and Dan Ackroyd will be able to vacuum it back in.

Numbero Dos: The Don has told the Your-A-Pee-Ins that it is no longer kool for Deplorables to pay them for the privilege of protecting them.  ‘Bout frickin’ time.

Numbero Three-o: El Donaldo makes All The Right People Absolutely Insane. This includes but is not limited to: the Media, Hollywood, Donks in general, country club Republicans, aghast artist types, environmentalist nutball case types, Bill Kristol & Max Boot types, proggy socialist types, hairy-legged women of a certain age driving a Prius and wearing pussyhats, adult junior high types on Twitter and just about everybody in New York, Illinois and California.

It has been one of the absolute joys of my life to have a front row seat to watch A Master Chain-Yanker ply his awesome trade

And we aren’t even a full two years in yet.

Who cudda imagined that the Sheer Entertainment Value of The Reign of Trump would be red-lined at 11 already?

Sure am glad I invested in popcorn futures…

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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