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NetFlix Original Series “The Rain” is a puddle of confusion

WARNING! SPOILERS! WARNING! SPOILERS!

NOT KIDDING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

OK then – Due Diligence done!

Netflix newest “original” series is a Danish production and, like Shakespeare’s more famous undecided Dane, it just can’t seem to figure out what it wants and does not want to be.

Let’s start with The McGuffin: a cabal of greedy, evil Globalists has figured out a way to “weaponize” rainfall as a delivery system for a Really Nasty Marburg-style virus.

If you like your hapless victims spewing bloody vomit then falling and thrashing in horrible death throes then The Premise is your cup of gore.

Think of it as The Walking Dead meets Barfing in the Rain.

As for the herring & kartofler of the eight 40 minute episodes, well, I really hope that the band of Millennials the show centers around are not representative of American kids of that generation.

The Survivors are the Usual Cross Section: smart girl, hapless boy, loser boy, horny slut, Jesus freak good girl and Rick Grimes Lite.

Plus the McGuffin character Rasmus – who is Patient Zero for the whole mess and who would be a 10 on the Most Annoying Character scale even if he wasn’t the carrier of The Virus.

 

Amusingly, much of The Rain centers on getting to the other side of the gigantic border wall that separates The Infected from the rest of Europe (sly tribute to Trump or failed potshot – you be the judge) which is the Final Destination for our band of intrepid Snowflakes.

Also, since Rick Grimes Lite is the only member of the group packin’ heat he takes the brunt of the moral beatings as in “Why did you have to shoot the three pipe-wielding thugs who wanted to rape our wymin and steal our food?”

“Why can’t we all just get along?”

This crew wudda never made it past the first ring of Atlanta suburbs in The Walking Dead.

Look, longtime readers at Sparta know Your Humble Correspondent has an extremely high tolerance for Dreck, particularly after chronicling two seasons of Fear the Walking Dead – the Gold Standard of Idiot Plots and even more Idiotic Characters.

While The Rain definitely at times approaches FTWD territory, it manages a Gentleman’s C overall.

You could do better for a binge (Godless & Babylon Berlin spring immediately to mind) but there is mucho worse-o el crapo out there as well.

The things I do for Sparta…

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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