Sparta Report to Participate in School Walkout

We throw our support to useless symbolism but it’s fun!

The Sparta Report will participate in a show of support for students protesting on March 14 at 10:00 AM local time.

The walkout’s goal is “to demand Congress pass legislation to keep us safe from gun violence at our schools, on our streets and in our homes and places of worship.” The fact that legislation doesn’t have a hope in hell of doing any of those things is kind of beside the point. Everyone likes a good protest!

The first thing that the Sparta Report has decided to do is not post any articles from 10:00 to 10:17 AM EDT. Cementers are on their own during this 17 minute period. We’re particularly good at not doing things; it’s a real strength of the site.

Every member of the Sparta Report staff has pledged their own support:

  • NWC will get up from playing video games and actually go outside into what he euphemistically refers to as “the real world” for 17 minutes. It’s expected that this will be somewhat akin to a Mormon on nirtrous oxide (See note).
  • Doomberg has pledged to go on a fast for these 17 minutes.
  • Patrick will walk his dog Gigi.
  • Uncle Bruno will be wearing his 1970’s leisure suit to the local 7-11 for coffee.
  • Radius works for a tyrannical company so protesting creates a bit of an issue. He thought about calling in sick but is concerned that his home may be bugged. What he’s decided to do is throw up on his computer at work which is very brave of him.
  • Kingsjester has also made the pledge but since it’s not suitable for work, let’s just leave it at that.
  • Fossten promised to howl at the moon. He does this on a regular basis anyway but he promised a particularly good howling.
  • PolAgnostic is on a secret assignment in Russia investigating Uranium One.
  • I’m thinking of putting on black Antifa apparel and joining our local high school in protest.

The Moderators discussed at length how Cementers can support the Sparta Report during this period. We humbly ask that Cementers refrain from yelling at one another, stop posting inappropriate photos of Nancy Pelosi, and generally behave themselves all day March 14 so we can bloody well just get some peace and quiet around here!

Thank you for your support,






Note: The dentist my wife works for is a Mormon and was telling the story the other day about his first experience with Nitrous Oxide during his dental training. His instructor said it was definitely his favorite day of the year watching the Mormon students experiencing Nitrous Oxide for the first time.

Mark Rosneck

Written by Mark Rosneck

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