How do you know when you’ve reached peak feminism?
When you try to seriously argue that God sexually assaulted Eve, resulting in humanity’s first #MeToo story:
The story that begins the bible, the first one that we learn in Sunday school, the founding story of man and woman upheld for thousands of years by Judeo-Christian religion, is actually the story of the first sexual assault of a woman. The woman’s name is Eve. And the perpetrator? God.
The article was written by rabbi and psychologist Tamara Kolton, and it goes downhill from there:
I want you to think about this. Here is a young, beautiful, intelligent, naked woman living in a state of Grace. She’s hungry, so she does the most natural thing in the world and eats a piece of fruit. For following her instincts, trusting herself, and nourishing her body, she is punished. Her punishment? She will never again feel safe in her nakedness. She will never again love her body. She will never again know her body as a place of sacred sovereignty.
“What have you done?” He God thunders. Eve wants to defend herself, but she is too ashamed to speak. Eve, our first mother whose name means the “mother of all living things,” is silenced, much the way the “patients” of Dr. Nassar were.
The founding myth of Judeo-Christian religion, the story of Eve, granted generations of men permission to violate women. It teaches us that women are liars and sinners. Even if “She” is telling the truth, she deserved it. God told her not to eat that apple, or wear that skirt, or go out after dark, or be pretty, or desirous, or in that bar or on that street or in that car or born a girl.
This “woke” train of thought takes us from the controversy surrounding serial molester Larry Nassar and the U.S. gymnastics team to the pages of Genesis to the heady days of the fall of South Africa’s apartheid and straight into the ultra-feminist arms of the #MeToo movement. Only in the warped mind of an extreme feminazi does this train of thought make any sense.
It’s official, I can no longer tell what is and isn’t parody anymore. What is real? What is pretend?