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Minneapolis: “Our Mayor is the Mostest Craziest!” St. Paul: “Hold my beer!”

New St. Paul mayor Melvin Carter III makes a point during his inaugural address at Central High School in St. Paul on Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018. (Pioneer Press / John Autey)

In the annual bi-citial slugfest to establish which Twin City has the Mostest Craziest Mayor hipster haven Minnysnapolis has had a purty good run.

But it’s lookin’ like dowdy ol’ Saint Paul is about to reclaim the championship belt with the recent inauguration of Obama-lite Melvin Carter.

Of course cray-cray mayors are not unknown in the burg formerly known as Pig’s Eye Landing; George Latimer once famously Called in The Cops because his car was allegedly stolen from a parking ramp in Lowertown.

Unfortunately Hizzonner did so after achieving an Impressively Inebriated State whereby upon leaving the pub he spent several hours prowling the Wrong Highrise Parking Facility in the (thankfully) vain attempt to somehow maneuver his was back to The Mayor’s residence to Sleep Off the Bender.

Tipplin’ Georgie’s predecessor, Charlie McCarty, was the Gold Standard of plain old Batshit Crazy Mayors. McCarty had the then St. Paul Pief of Chilice install a flashing red light and siren on his tricked-out Mayormobile so he could race off to 5-alarm fires and other similar Fun Events unimpeded by traffic lights.

The Saintly City’s new mayor threw down The Challenge during his inauguration speech when he launched into a Social Justice Warrior-esqe rant about the National Anthem.

Our Blogging Brethren at Breitbart pick up to tale:

Melvin Carter III, incoming mayor of Saint Paul, Minnesota, proclaimed the national anthem an “ode to slavery” during his inaugural address.

[…]

The claim has been ridiculed by many historians, who say the words actually referred to the British Navy’s practice of impressing American sailors into serving the Crown, essentially making them slaves to the British Navy. That practice, known at the time as impressment, was one of the main causes of the war. In addition, large numbers of black soldiers were fighting for the U.S. during the war that sparked Francis Scott Key’s writing the tune, and Key was aware of that.

Even a 2016 Snopes article said the claim that the verse is a celebration of chattel slavery is hardly a foregone conclusion and that many historians dismiss the connection to America’s slaving practices.

Well Done Saint Paul!

Enjoy what promises to be a Fun Ride into SJW Crazyland for the next four years!

Unless the new Presidentress-in-Waiting Kamala Olive Harris taps Ranting Mel for The Coveted Second Spot on the Donk’s 2020 ticket…

 
Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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