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Spartan Challenge: Pick the Absolute Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

The blogging elves over at PJMedia have put out a list of the Ten Worst Christmas Songs Ever.

My guess is that the Sparta Report Cementers can top them without breaking a sweat.

And while any list of Musical Nightmares Before Christmas that includes a Mariah Carey/Justin Bieber duet sets a solid bar for putridity and must be taken seriously, I nevertheless object to the placement of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer on said role of dishonor:

How awful a scenario — and one that I kind of don’t want my toddler to sing while he’s learning about the true meaning of Christmas… And, by the way, how great that grandpa is handling the death of his wife so well by watching football, drinking beer, and playing cards.

Personally I find Grampa’s handling of the situation top shelf and my bet is Grandma (may she rest in peace) would be just fine with The Old Man not changing a damn thing in his Holiday routine despite her untimely departure.

Besides, Santa Got a DWI when he took out Granny and ended up spending Christmas in Jail for his trouble.

So have at it.

Make Your Uncle Bruno proud Sparticles…

 
Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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