1. “Make America Great Again'” tweeteth The Trump this day, a day of Thanksgiving and reflection, yea, a day we giveth thanks for the defeat of Medusa, the Bitch of Benghazi.
2. We shuddereth at the thought of the horror she wouldst release on this Nation, and it hurteth the brain to comprehendeth it all.
3. But Trump cometh along and slayeth her, and they tosseth her body like garbagemen tosseth a sack of trash.
4. Yea, we giveth thanks for this act of mercy.
5. We giveth thanks for the Deplorables deplorablizing throughout this Nation, and righting the ship for a moment, and pumpeth the bilge out to stabilize her.
6. This Nation tosseth to and fro, and becometh untenable for us pilgrims, who were strangers in a strange land.
7. But we achieveth the Prize, and our man sitteth at the Desk of Resolution, to govern with righteousness and steer the course.
8. Verily verily, I say unto you that there remaineth dangerous waters, and shoals to make the way through, and vicious beasts of the swamp to fight back, but we saileth through on a sure path.
9. But we giveth thanks to the Hand of Providence, for the Lord established this land that giveth abundance to all.
10. For it was He who made this land, and annointed it as a Land of Promise for those who seek it out, and loveth her.
11. Our forebearers cometh here to till the land in freedom, to exercise liberty unto themselves, and many died to achieve this liberty and their blood redeemeth it. Yea, their voice crieth from the dust to those who are in this nation that their blood did not spill in vain.
12. We giveth Thanks, O Lord, for thy guidance to those who came before us, that layeth down their life, who sorroweth for those who fell, and joy for those who established this Nation.
13. We giveth Thanks, O Lord, to those who treadeth on strange ground, heading West and suffering to till the land to raise families.
14. We giveth Thanks O Lord, to those who fought Brother against Brother, whose blood was spilled to defend their way of life, and reconcileth one with another.
15. We giveth Thanks, O Lord, to those Doughboys of old, who were sent to foreign lands to fight against darkness.
16. We give Thanks, O Lord, to those Captains of Industry, who bringeth prosperity and maketh thus Nation a power.
17. We give Thanks to that Greatest Generation, who faced down an unspeakable evil, and dieth in foreign lands. Their blood hath blessed it while their families mourned.
18. We give Thanks to those who fought in the East who were forgotten and spurned by an ungrateful nation. We ask forgiveness of The Lord, and that he comforteth them, and toucheth their hearts so they know He loveth them.
20. And Father, we thank there for our parents, who worketh to ensure their children have a better life than they, that their children may have better opportunities than they.
21. We give Thanks to thee Father, for the blessings of this Land and ask thee for continued blessings so we can Make America Great Again. Amen.