Mark writes the President on Behalf of the Spartans
Dear President Trump,
I sent you some ideas on immigration reform last week. Like yourself, I have a job for which I don’t receive a pay check which is the Señor Editor at the Sparta Report. I’m sure you’ve heard of us.
Some of the Spartans, what our members call themselves, have a different viewpoint which I’d like to express on their behalf. Spartan P**** N**** B** offered this plan for your consideration:
1. Ban illegals from recieving any and all government assistance.
2. Enforce E verify and make it a felony to employ an illegal alien, with a fine of $100,000 per offense.
3. Make it a felony to rent a dwelling or give a home loan to an illegal alien, with a fine of $100,000 per offense.
Stand back and watch 11(20 to 30) million illegals self deport
Spartan D******** the D******** suggests you:
Repeal the law that requires hospitals to treat patients regardless of their ability to pay. Current illegals drown our ERs and the costs are paid by those with insurance. Without free healthcare…
Put out a “bounty” on illegal workers, and their employers. Every employer found to have hired an illegal will be forced to pay $100 “finders fee”, and be subject to current law regarding illegal hiring processes. An optional plan could increase the dollar amount to pay for the cost of transportation to Mexico. This could be revenue neutral, or positive depending on how hard you want to apply the program. Without illegal income…
Spartan A**** said:
As a legal immigrant who stood in line, paid the costs, and followed the law – there are no circumstances that excuse their decision to ignore the law. If millions of immigrants could follow US law, there’s no reason or excuse for anyone to not follow the law.
Not following the law demonstrates a fundamental contempt towards the US and the rule of law.
To which Spartan 1********1 agreed:
We already have those laws. JUST ENFORCE THEM!!!
Let me summarize, if I may, Mr. President. A number of Spartans think the law is the law, there are people in the country illegally, and you should deport them immediately. Additionally, many feel the notion of giving citizenship to children born in the United States to illegal parents (so called “anchor babies”) is illegal and a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment. These individuals should also be deported immediately.
Of course, there’s at least half the country that believes you’re the embodiment of Adolf Hitler and this should pretty much seal the deal. I think it’s a sure bet you’d be immediately impeached but I’m assured by the Spartans that the Senate won’t convict. You might want do some checking yourself.
There are a few details you’ll need to work out if you decide to follow these Spartan’s advice.
- The illegals won’t go quietly. You might want to boost the ICE force a bit.
- They’re probably going to need better weapons and I’d want to issue body armor.
- You’re probably going to want to clear up the whole “anchor baby” deal so I’d get that to the Supreme Court pretty quickly. Otherwise, you’re going to be deporting people who think they’re citizens and currently have all the rights and privileges of citizens. It’s just rather messy and if the timing is wrong, all these people are going to vote in elections before you get them out which could be ugly.
- The whole notion of “any person” in the country having due process rights messes things up a bit. It would be good if you could fix that. Otherwise, we’re going to have to start immigrating lawyers to handle the case load.
I’m thinking it might be a good idea to test the Wall prototype around the White House. People just might get a bit testy.
On the other hand, if this all works, Mr. President, they’ll be a huge migration of people over the Mexican border. And if THAT happens, I’m pretty sure the Mexican government would build a wall.
Wait a minute . . . that’s pretty clever!