Book of Trump, Chapter 29
1. A Word of Warning to the goat humpers in the East:
2. Thy crap stoppeth! Thou shalt shitteth thy robes because of thy perfidy! Yea, Ye have pissed off a Mad Dog, and he is ravenous. Yea, the Lion too hungers for the blood of thy veins, and his thirst will be satiated.
3. For ye failieth to rein in the terror in thy land. Yea, ye faileth the test despite this nation sending it treasure and best blood to assist thee! Now, ye shall reap the whirlwind, as ye are weak. Ye are nothing but gnats on the ass of Waters. Ye are nothing but scum, and I will Pershing thee at my pleasure.
4. Verily, verily, I say unto thee: Trump will lift the rules of Obama, and giveth permission to the Marine to bite thy ass and tear it asunder. He taketh the jawbone of an ass and crusheth thy head. He pisseth on thee, and shitteth on thy grave.
5. And the pilot needeth not permission to fire. They are unleashed on the enemy of America. They seeth thee, and they will smite thee.
6. For the Warthog hungereth. His mouth is full of fury, and spitteth heavy metal into thy forlorn body. Ye desecrateth the blood and treasure of this land, so the Warthog shall smite thee from on high.
7. And the Navy sendeth the Frogs of Kek to put holes in thy body, to smite thee from afar, 720 grains at a time. Ye shall not hear the sound, but feel thy flesh on fire, and thy bones explode.
8. But In the Land of America, hysteria. For a Celestial event cometh forth, and great is the anxiety for it. The people rejoiceth that the light shall be stopped, and maketh preparations for it.
9. And an orb blocketh the light, and the people rejoiceth! The Wonders in Heaven displayeth their power and things not normally seen can be observed, as Trump blocketh out the chaff and exposeth the Cuck and the Liberal for all to see what goeth on behind the veil.
10. And from out of the ashes of Charlottesville, a Phoenix riseth. Trump traveleth to Arizona, an old Apache word meaning “F#$% it’s hot,” to speak to his people a scripted speech, and it was much anticipated.
11. And Antichrist, er, Antifa, voweth to appear to disrupt the lawful gathering of a peaceful people, as they doeth before elsewhere with impunity because they are loved by the Democrats.
12. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that no ear hath heard, nor eye hath seen, the level of fury unleashed at the press. For the Lion roared, and teeth gnashed and panties twisteth at the power of the words of Trump.
13. For Trump teareth them a new one, and attacked without mercy. He calleth out the media for their lies and slander, and blameth them for giving a platform for hate, and encourageth it. Yea, he calleth their lies to the attention of America, and repeateth what he sayeth at Charlottesville, which embarrasseth the liberal and republican who sideth with the Antichrist, er, Antifa.
14. And Trump talketh Obamacare , that only OOONNNNEEEEE VVVOOOOTTTEEEE keepeth the Congress from repealing that which should be thrown on the dungheap. One Vote. Just One Vote. And Trump nameth not names, yet the people knew the Perfidious one in question. And glorious was the way Trump attacked.
15. And he leaveth not a Flake unturned, and questioned the Two from Arizona, that they do not liketh the thought to Make America Great again. And the people howleth with delight at the mockery.
16. The people roareth when Trump talketh about a former Sheriff, even Sheriff Joe, and said all would be well with him. And they rejoiceth till their cup runneth over.
17. And Trump sayeth to all, that he may shut down the government if they fund not the Wall, for he wanteth the Wall built. And the gathered Nationalists roared with delight to the chagrin of the liberal and media.
18. Trump shutteth up not. For he followeth not the script before him, and there was much bedwetting throughout the land. The bowels of the liberal and weak republican vacateth, and the skin crawleth from the Bitch, as she cannot take truth.
19. And Antichrist, er, Antifa gathereth their numbers, and waiteth outside to pounce, as they heretofore hath done before, to attack the righteous as they depart.
20. But the police were ready, and was given permission to beateth back the hordes of Mordor. And they kept the horde at bay with smoke, gas, and power of their presence, and it frustrateth them, greatly, for they didst not expect the police to act against them.
21. But yea, one tryeth the patience of police, who tolerateth it no more, and shooteth him in the heirlooms with a puff of powder, and great was the pain. And the people of Trump laugheth him to scorn for many days.
22. And two Spartans observeth this live, and enjoyeth themselves. And great was the jealousy of other Spartans who could be not in the desert to witness the Spectacle of Greatness. One taketh great pictures of Trump, which Sparta appreciateth.
23. The battle is truly enjoined now, and is not for the faint of heart. Gird thy loins, Spartans, and prepare for battle. The world is against us, yet I smileth at them. Smile back, and prepare thyself for war.