The gauntlet has been thrown down in the Mini-Apple. Illegal alien Mona Ali has outed herself in the weekly hipster tabloid City Pages:

Mona began high school at Southwest, where classmates marveled at how well she spoke English. With time, she adopted the expectations of American teenagers, fading innocuously into the blended fabric of American society, where the past didn’t matter.

After graduation, Mona went to the University of Minnesota, by the grace of federal aid, majoring in economics.

But in the second semester of her sophomore year, Mona received a letter. Her financial aid had been discontinued, effective immediately.

She begged the university to explain why her college lifeline had been cut. Officials referred her to the U.S. Department of Education, which would only confirm the letter was real.

“Nobody explained to me why until [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] summoned us to go to court,” Mona recalls. “We went alone, the first time, just me and my mom. And the judge said, ‘We’re going to continue this case, but you need to go get a lawyer.’ That was a solid because he could have went on and been an asshole and deported us on the spot.”

When she initially married, Mona says she resisted giving her husband the impression that she was only after papers. He never knew the full contortions of her immigration case.

They’re now separated, and it hardly seems appropriate to ask for help.

D.C. attorney Jason Dzubow agrees it would never work. Spouses petitioning for citizenship have to show they have a valid marriage. If they’re legally married but no longer together, Immigration won’t be moved.

Shortly before Barack Obama left office, Immigration extended work permits for asylees to two years instead of one due to complaints about the sluggish renewal process.

Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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