It is with deepest regret, ladies and gentlemen, that I must tell you of a late-breaking scandal involving Kellyanne Conway. This isn’t a normal, fake news scandal like Benghazi, Fast & Furious, Uranium One, or the IRS targeting conservative groups. No, this is the kind of scandal that spreads like wildfire through social media. This is the kind of scandal that reaches into the seedy depths of moral and spiritual corruption that is endemic in Washington, D.C. It’s the type of scandal that makes a journalist’s career, but only after he has trudged through the Swamp of Lies to find where squatteth the Toad of Truth.
What is this horrible, terrible scandal you ask? All right, I’ll tell you…but make sure you’re sitting down for this one.
It seems that Kellyanne Conway, one of Donald Trump’s top advisers and former campaign manager has been caught…putting her feet up on the couch. In the Oval Office!
Here’s a photo showing the depths of Kellyanne Conway’s depravity and disrespect towards President Trump’s couch:Such extreme disrespect…
The photo immediately touched off a firestorm of criticism on both social media and in the news media. NBC covered the debate on decorum that Kellyanne Conway’s disrespectful behavior has sparked:
Photos of White House adviser Kellyanne Conway kneeling on an Oval Office couch with her shoes on have sparked an online debate about decorum in the executive mansion.
Conway is seen perched on her knees on the couch with her feet behind her in photos taken Monday while President Donald Trump met with leaders of historically black colleges and universities.
Some Twitter users were quick to highlight the photos as evidence of a lack of respect for the office from Conway and the Trump administration, but much of the criticism was just tongue-in-cheek humor at the bizarre sitting position.
“I have so many questions about this photo, but chief among them is why nobody is telling Kellyanne Conway to get her damn feet off the couch,” Chicago Tribune columnist Rex Huppke tweeted.
The Left side of Twitter treated this controversy with the appropriate level of disgust and concern:
It’s not about the couch, it’s about the disrespect & classlessness of that type of behavior with professionals in the room #KellyanneConway
— Destry (@destry_michele) February 28, 2017
Someone needed to slap the shit out of Kellyanne Conway… TAKE YA FEET OFF THE FUCKING COUCH
— Harley✨ (@_TooMuchTongue) February 28, 2017
People keep asking if we would be so judgmental if a man sat the same way as Kellyanne Conway on the couch. The answer is still yes.
— Minu (@MinuNagash) February 28, 2017
#kellyanneconway It is not about her feet on the couch! It is about the fact that she is knewling on the couch in a dress like a 12 year…
— Nicole Browne (@loudbrownes) February 28, 2017
I’m not exactly sure what knewling is…but it sounds disrespectful as hell.
— Vickie Rock (@Rockblotter) February 28, 2017
What, were you born in a barn?
Feet off the damn couch!
— Steve Patterson (@wizard_of_ood) February 28, 2017
Blogger Awesomely Luvvie wrote about the controversy on her own blog. Her reaction to #Couchgate was completely appropriate given the gravity of the situation:
GET YOUR GAHTDAMB FEET OFF THAT GOOD COUCH, KELLYANNE. Where do you think you are?? This is the Oval Office, not your slumber party. Why are you so comfortable? This is not your house and you don’t pay rent here so what you ain’t gon do is defile the furniture by wearing your outside clothes and then putting your outside feet on top of it. I bet that couch now smells like onion rings. Just unprofessional as hell.
This is a room where everyone else is in a suit and she’s all casual like she’s at her humble abode. It’s a mess.
This woman ain’t got no home training. Not a piece of broughtupsy to be found. Does she have on shoes? That couch looks like it stains easily and I don’t know where her feet have been and what she’s trudging in. I’m just mad for whoever has to come clean. But then if she doesn’t have on shoes, why is she in the freaking Oval Office without something covering her corns? Either way you slice it, this is unacceptable.
Someone’s grandma is throwing their shoe at Kellyanne’s head as we speak. She’s the reason for plastic over furniture. She is the reason why none of us are allowed to sit in the sitting room.
And then she’s in a dress, with her knees all far apart. What did a philosopher we all know as Lenethia Leakes say? CLOSE YOUR LEGS TO MARRIED MEN.
Exactly! Everyone knows that you don’t put your feet on the furniture. We all had that grandma that would beat us black and blue with that wooden spoon if we so much as glanced sideways at her good couch. That rule applies everywhere, but ESPECIALLY in the Oval Office. Everyone knows you don’t put your feet on ANY of the furniture in the Oval Office. It’s just about the most disrespectful thing you could do. It’s something that presidents from Jimmy Carter…
…to Bill Clinton…
…to George W. Bush…
…to Barack Hussein Obama…
…have always understood. Especially Barack Hussein Obama. I mean the man was the epitome of class and style.
Obama would never do something as crass as…say…putting his feet up on the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office.
He certainly would never do something as rude as putting his feet up on the furniture when he had company.
No, Barack Hussein Obama definitely has more respect and “broughtupsy” in his left foot than Kellyanne Conway has in her entire BODY.
In the end, Kellyanne Conway’s disgraceful behavior is just one more example of how President Donald Trump is dragging this country down into a racist, deplorable cesspool from which it will never recover. We need to start taking these things much more seriously as a country, people. I want to see special prosecutors investigating these things. Did Trump know that Kellyanne Conway had her feet up on the couch? What did Trump know and when did he know it? The country deserves answers!
This kind of disrespect SHAMES our country and CANNOT be allowed to continue. It MUST NOT be allowed to continue. The #Couchgate incident is yet another high crime in the long list of deplorable acts that President Donald Trump has committed against this country and its people. We need to impeach Donald Trump TODAY, ladies and gentlemen, otherwise I fear that we can kiss our standing in the international community good-bye.
Why can’t we bring some class back to the White House?