1. And there was darkness over the people of Trump because a Trumpian had fallen to the knives of the enemy.
  2. For they stabbeth his back when he did no legal wrong, seeking to tear down all that Trump built up, and the shadows in the dark doeth this to subvert Trump and his people, to divide asunder those who support Trump.
  3. But yea, the man didst telleth not the truth to the Right Hand of Trump, causing much contention throughout the land, and the vultures did circle to feast on the carcass. And Lo, he was a Democrat.
  4. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that there remaineth in place those who are loyal to the Kenyan Bacci Boy, who seeketh to divide the people against Trump. And yea, they are powerful and well hidden, and strike the back with lies and deceit. The claimeth their first soul and wanteth more to devour.
  5. And the darkness claimeth calamities due to Trump, and seeketh to destroy him, but they will fail. For this is but a scratch on the armor of Trump, and he will move onward to Make America Great Again.
  6. For the Pussies of Petulance cry aloud “Lo, there is Hitler!,” and “Lo, there are Nazis!” Yet they whineth for naught, as the People knoweth that the whiners are small in numbers, yet scream like banshees as they circumcise themselves. They believe they are smart, but they are idiots and the people know it.
  7. For they reject the Ass of Balaam and the truth that is shared by it, for they cannot bear to hear simple things that cutteth their souls.
  8. But behold! All is not lost! For Trump still keepeth on with his business despite the outcry of the weasels. The Balm of Gilead is with him, and keepeth him from the illnesses that brought down the republican of old.
  9. For he signeth a decree that regulations rolleth back on businesses, so that they can fairly compete with those of other nations, which will lead to more prosperity to the Land.
  10. And the Market of Stocks goeth upwards, signaling that Trump remaineth strong in the land, and will inspire greatness to flourish.
  11. And the Agents of Immigration roundeth up the scoundrel, to ship them back home, and the People of Trump teareth not at the news. For they see that Trump keepeth the promises he made to them.
  12. Two more annointed by Trump have taken their place in his Cabinet, to do the will of Trump.
  13. And there was one who stood boldly before the heathens, and testified with her countenance that Trump is President. He name was Joy, and it dids’t bring joy to the People of Trump, and brought misery to the enemies of Trump and their lamentations were as sweet nectar.
  14. And the powerful leader of the land of Kali did fight against Trump, yet now, he beggeth for the help of Trump, as his land is under the floor and he needeth money.
  15. Because of this duplicity, Trump has been slow to hear his cries and the leader appeareth weak, as he spent his surplus upon those who deserve it not, leaving the veteran to wallow in filth and the structures to fail.
  16. Rise up and have faith, ye people of Trump! For ye knoweth that there will be mockeries and setbacks so ye should be steeled against these attempts at division. These times will trieth the souls of all who support Trump. As Trump is strong, so ye ought to be. For division bringeth the fall of all the people.
  17. Therefore, gird up your loins and raiseth your shields, for the enemy is upon you. Ye shall doubt your doubts, and grasp the sword and smite with it. Set your feet in the earth and strengthen your back, for the fight is ahead of you, not behind you.
 
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