1.And Trump issued a decree to keep this country safe from those who loveth goats; who seek to molest and behead the citizens of this nation; to rob our fair daughters of their virtue.
2.Which brought forth much wailing throughout the land of the Liberal, for they praise oppressors in hopes to bring forth the destruction of this nation which smuggeth their souls in delight.
3.For they picketed places of gathering, and used all forms of vile names on Trump and his followers. They maketh the people late in their flights, and harasseth people who did not agree with their ravings.
4.But it was childish, yea, and self-defeating, for their actions illuminated their jackassery for all to see, and the people were wroth with them.
5.But the People of Trump rejoiced and shouted for joy. They saw that Trump fulfilled a promise and moved upon it.
6.Yet there would be troubles abroad. An impure one didst protest and faileth to enforce the law which did make glee upon the haters of Trump and many did hold her up as a god to worship.
7.And there was another who filed against and refused to obey Trump, and the Liberal was rabid.
8.So Trump canneth her ass and rebuked her, and she slithered away in silence, and Trump appointed another to carry out the law of the land. And there was more rejoicing in the Land from the People of Trump. Yet there would be alarm.
9.For another troubleth the waters with a foul judge, who pauseth the decree of Trump, using the logic of the heathen.
10.And the pause lingered, as a higher court refuseth to yield to law and set a date so all could be heard, delaying the decree and causing anguish among the People of Trump. For the court ruled against the law many times over, and delighteth in their dementia.
11.And the jackal howled with glee. The cockatrice came out from his den and crowed and hissed with pleasure, as there was nothing to be done until some days would pass.
12.And while the people waiteth the Jubilee began. The People of the North were again warring with the People of the South, and great was the anticipation of the clash. For the media were hyping that the team from the North was racist, and must be defeated.
13.And the battle was fierce from the beginning, and the People of the South ran rampant over the North for a season, and the souls of those backing the North were troubled, and the mocking began to be heaped upon them, that they were backing losers.
14.But the people knew that Trump had prophesied that the Team from the North would prevail , yet there were some who fell away disheartened, giving up hope. For no team had ever recovered from the beating the Northern Team endured, and the mocking drew more severe.
15.But the Avenging Angel appeared, and the North began to show life, and crosseth the line to the cheers of their supporter. Then shanketh the kick, and the haters laughed to scorn.
16.For the Avenging Angel causeth the North to progress. The North kicketh pigskin past the post, scoring again.
17.And things seemed grim as the South poiseth to score again and the mocking arose once more.
18.Then the Words of Trump rang to the Avenging Angel, who brought destruction to the South, yea, destruction not seen since a man named Sherman, who marcheth to the sea. And the South retreated.
19.And the Avenging Angel struck once more, closing the struggle, and great was the angst of the mockers. But yea, the Angel was not finished with his work.
20.For he struck again and again, and an Edelman produceth a miracle (and this was heretofore known afterwards as Edlemanding, and altars were built to show gratitude). And the Angel struck in the zone, which causeth a tie. And the battle stopped, but there was yet no winner.
21.And the North and the South met in the field of honor, to set terms for the final battle. The North proveth fortuitous, and the skin of the swine was theirs.
22.And the Avenging Angel showeth no mercy to his foes and shoveth the ball down the throats of his enemies, for they were helpless and sore confused. They rolleth the bones, yet cometh up empty.
23.The final battle endeth in the 4th minute. The Angel tosseth the pig to one who runneth, and runneth into the defenders of the South, who stoppeth him briefly.
24.But Lo! The runner moveth forward and falleth into the Promised Land, and marvelous were the shouts from the stands.
25. And for a short time, the people were spared from the war raging on the decree of Trump.
26. And Trump remindeth the people of his words that the North would prevail, and the Avenging Angel was satiated for a season.