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Doctor: No, DON’T Put Jade Eggs In Your Vagina

I had every intention of checking out the article and doing my own take down of the ridiculousness of jade eggs.  Then I actually read WaPo’s article.

I think this doctor does a better take down than I ever could:

It wasn’t that long ago when Gwyneth Paltrow raved about the benefits of vaginal steaming, a non-scientifically proven process of sitting over a hot pot of water filled with herbs for up to 45 minutes to “cleanse your uterus” and “balance female hormone levels,” as the actress had put it.

Most recently, Paltrow’s lifestyle website Goop, which promoted vaginal steaming, is at it again with another advice for women: putting a jade egg — yes, a solid object about the size of a golf ball — in your vagina, and keeping it there all day or while you’re sleeping.

For $66 a piece, the jade eggs, once “the strictly guarded secret” of Chinese queens and concubines to please their emperors, would help boost your orgasm and “increase vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general,” reads the beginning of an article titled “Better Sex: Jade Eggs for Your Yoni.”

But a California gynecologist wasted no time letting Paltrow — and the rest of the world — know what she thinks of those jade eggs, which, according to the website, are already sold out.

Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN for Kaiser Permanente in San Francisco, called the idea “the biggest load of garbage” she’s read on Goop since vaginal steaming and worse than saying wearing bras is linked to cancer.

Gunter first took issue with the article’s introduction.

“Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man!” she wrote in a seething blog post addressed to Paltrow. “And then the claim that they can balance hormones, is quite simply, biologically impossible…As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!?”

Gunter also talked about the potential health risks.

Jade is porous, she said, so leaving the egg in one’s vagina during sleep “could allow bacteria to get inside” and cause bacterial vaginosis or even Toxic Shock Syndrome, a life-threatening complication caused by bacterial infections.

“This is not good, in case you are wondering,” Gunter wrote.

Walking around with it inside is another bad idea, she said.

Continue Reading…

Yet another reason to pray to whatever gods you hold dear for the Sweet Meteor of Death…

jade eggs
BAM! Right on top of Gwyneth Paltrow’s house…

It’s worthwhile reading Dr. Gunter’s entire article.  To say she was a little harsh in her criticism is like saying Hillary Clinton is a little corrupt.  Dr. Gunter is positively BRUTAL in her article.  Where it really shines, though, is the comments.  Dr. Gunter does NOT back down from her position at all.

Check it out:

My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man! And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?

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If the word for womb is yoni I hate to break it to you, but the uterus and vagina are different structures. If you are using the Sanskrit, while I admit I am no language scholar, it seems that yoni means the entire female reproductive tract and you should say that. Terminology aside, the vulva, vagina, cervix, and uterus are not intuition repositories and neither are they sources of “power” or “wisdom.” If fact, I find that assertion insulting. Do you really mean a woman who does not have a uterus is less effective? Is a woman without a vagina less intelligent?  Is a woman who had a vulvectomy due to cancer less creative?

As for the recommendation that women sleep with a jade egg in their vaginas I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite. This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.

Again, it’s definitely worth taking the time to read the entire article.  Remember kids:

jade eggs 2
Yes, Mr. Mackey…

 
Radius

Written by Radius

Radius refuses to post a bio. Website bios simply serve to prop up the cis-gendered patriarchy of the manocentric maleocracy. Also we must #Resist Trump because racism I guess.

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