1.And it came to pass In the Year of our Lord 2017, on the 20th day in the month known as January, at the stroke of midday, The Trump assumeth the Presidency, and the people shouted for joy. And words cannot utter , nor can they describe the joy that swept across the People of Trump.
2. But before Trump ascended, the Right Hand of Trump, who was a steadfast companion and a firm Defender of Truth, had taken his honorable place along with his wife, sworn in by a man who was cast out from his own people because he was a righteous man who worked his way to glory.
3. And the Wife of Trump was with Trump, and she was glorious to behold. A true elegance, which was missing from the Peoples House, was restored to its proper place. And she contenteth the men.
4. The People of Trump marveled at what they were witnessing. There were tears of joy and tears of relief, as a heavy yoke was lifted off their backs. For their burdens were heavy and their cries were unanswered.
5. Who were a People driven to and fro while wandering in the Wilderness, having scorn heaped upon them by people who knoweth not which restroom to use, who useth children in unholy ways.
6. Who had bided their time, praying for a Deliverer to bring them forth from the Wilderness.
7. And the Deliverer, even Trump, was now in front of their eyes, and he shineth as Gold and Silver doth in the light of the Sun. He had heaped the burdens of his people upon his shoulders, and promised to bring their Nation back to prosperity and happiness.
8.And Trump then spoke, and his anger was kindled at what he had seen before him, and what had gone on before him. And his words did cut to the bone of those who fought against him and America. For so powerful were Trumps words, that none dared rise against him.
9. And Trump basheth the heads of the Praetorians of both parties , castigating them for their mockery of the Peoples business, and brought shame unto the Founders of this Nation.
10. Then Trump smote down the Kenyan, and his vision and actions which harmeth the people.
11. And Trump smote down the Congress with the words of his tongue, for the Congress doeth nothing but speaketh to be seen by men, as the Pharisees of old. For they puffeth themselves up as cobras, yet they are nothing but common snakes. With the Sword of his words, Trump cutteth them as one cutteth a muslim who is an enemy to this Nation.
12. And Trump was not finished. He then smiteth down his predecessors and castigated them for not putting the People of this Nation first, and who chaseth away the employers by favoring other nations. And yet they could not understand the things they doeth wrong, for their hearts were cast to globalism, and the siren song of the elites who wish to rule.
13. There were enemies abroad in the City of Washington, who cried out in anguish at the sight of Trump, for they could not behold the magnificence of his countenance, but they withereth as a snowflake on a warm day.
14. These fornicators refuseth to hear Truth and refuseth to accept Trump, but it mattereth not. They seeketh upheaval and confusion yet will not achieve it, for the People will judge their petty actions and will bring judgement upon their supporters in a time to come.
15. And wo, wo cometh upon them, that they be not happy. They will seek and never find. They speaketh, but will not be heard. They whineth, but none will care.
16. Then the purveyors of filth began to speak upon the waves broadcast to others, and they were stunned at what they heard. They had doubted Trump and mocked him and what he spoke of before, yet they heareth his same words again and were struck with amazement and terror. They now saw that Trump meant what he sayeth to them in the past and they began to shake.
17. And they stammered that Trump was divisive, and wondered aloud how Trump could say the things he did for surely he was not being polite. And they saw that Trump had shitteth them not, and were ashamed at their feebleness of words. For the Lion had roared, and spoke harsh truth to them and the Nation. And this harshness had torn them apart, that they stuttered to find words. They beheld that Trump feareth them not and casteth their cares aside as he set to Make America Great Again.
18. And it came to pass that Trump reviewed his warriors in procession, and was pleased with them and saluted them and their courage. He had honored their unknown dead at their Tomb, and thanketh them for their service.
19. Surely it will come to pass that there will be those who fight against Trump and his People, and there will be many battles to be fought but for the moment, there was a soft peace, and the Founders who sleepeth along with the warriors who are at rest rejoiced in their places, for they witnessed that their work and their sacrifices were upheld.