SEPPUKU! The Donk’s Resolution 54/Ellison SUICIDE PACT!

Yo,  Sparticles!

(A proudly gender-neutral handle for all the former Gassers out there.  And would the Cementer who I pinched this from please stand up and take a bow?  Thank you!)

It’s not every day you have the pleasure of watching a Major Political Party kamikaze itself into the setting sun but today is one of those golden days.

This is a two-phased suicide note, so please bear with me, OK?

Part One is the national Democratic Party.

Since Screamin’ Howie stepped out of the running for the DNC chairmanship the new odds on favorite is my very own MN-5 congress-critter Keith E. Hakim (as Keith Ellison was fond of calling himself back in his halcyon at the University of Minnesota circa 1989- 1990) .

While you may be tempted to say “what difference , at this point, does it make anyway?” I’m only stepping over the bar lowered by Team Clinton with it’s 12 year old pussy-grabber tape.

I didn’t make the New Rules, I’m just following them.

It’s been wisely said that when your enemy is in the process of destroying himself the best thing do is fire up the popcorn popper, crack open a brewski and settle back to enjoy the festivities.

Unfortunately, CNN let the cat outta the sack earlier this past week with a piece critical of our favorite black Muslim Nation of Islam apologist.  Let’s keep the home-fires burning in the hope that the present Democrat Party membership stays on board the crazy train and makes Keith X Ellison the official face of the Donks in every nook and cranny of Red and Purple America.

While a normal party would run screaming naked and bleeding into the night away from ol’ Keith, hopes remain high that the Insane Base is so committed to moving the Democrats into Mt. St. Helen’s territory Ellison will still get the nod.

Bonus for me, because it is always all about me: With Ellison committing to full time outreach for the DNC (yes!) I will get a new congress-person!  My bet is on either State Sen. Scott Dibble, an openly gay politician from Minneapolis or City of Lakes Mayor Betsy Hodges.  True blues both, but neither are as gawd-awful as Ellison, so thank you Jesus for small favors.

Part Two pertains to the Minnesota Democrat-Farmer-Labor (DFL) party, the Goofer State’s version of the national Democrat party.

(Those of you who could give less than the ass of the rat about Minnesota politics are excused if you so desire but then your gonna miss the really good stuff…)

A quick look at the electoral map of Minny’s 87 counties shows the DFL pretty much hunkered down in urban strongholds around the Twin Cities & Mayoville (Rochester) and Up North in what is referred to as Arrowhead Country.

The rest of the state is purty dang red, which it has been trending since the DFL said adios to the farmers who put the F in DFL.

And now from the Donk brain trust as lead by urban greenies and a whole lotta other big city folks who think Minnesota is just comprised of the I35 corridor from St. Paul to Duluth (which serves as a gateway to the North Shore and BWCA vactionlands) comes the revival of DFL Resolution54.

In a nutshell Resolution 54 is the Urban Elite’s attempt to take the L (labor) out of the DFL by coming out as opposed to all forms of mining and thereby rendering pure the total Twin Citification of the Minnesota Donks.

Forever, and I mean FOREVER gang, the Minnesota Arrowhead has been home to bushel baskets full of Deplorable miners from the Old Country: Italians, Croatians, Ukrainians, Slovenians, Finns, Poles, Welshmen and Irishmen, Serbs and Sicilians, Russians and Scandinavians – all of whom worked the iron-laden red rock in the open pit mines and voted Communist, Socialist and as a last resort, DFL for year after year, decade after decade.

(Minnesota’s Iron Range is a rural version of the ethic boroughs of New York City.  I kid you not. Back in the day each small town from Bovey to Buhl to Babbitt was a redoubt of the new immigrants home cultures and languages. Even today Da Rain-chh is a European gastrophiles paradise of Old World cooking and baking.)

Naturally the Iron Range DFL contingent is in full meltdown over this, because if the Blue Arrowhead goes red the DFL is kaputski as a statewide player.

Odds are that the DFL’s Night’s Watch will prevail and at least some Northern Donks will continue to Wear the Black.

But boy oh boy, I haven’t had this much fun since, well, Election Night!





Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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