Book of Trump, Chapter Five

1.And Trump won, and gloateth.

  1. For he gloateth in the face of the media, who laughed him to scorn, and mocked him and his family.
  2. And he gloateth in the face of the punditry who perverted his words and twisteth them.
  3. And he gloateth in the face of the Harlot of Hell and her minions, who dabbleth in cooking spirits, which is a grave offense to the little ones.
  4. And further, he gloateth in the face of the Bacha of Kenya, who boasted that Trump would never win the Presidency.
  5. And he mocked Janet Reno, who claimeth that Trump would not win in her lifetime, and the Spirit of Trump smote her down to the grave. And then gloateth by winning.
  6. And still he gloateth in the face of the pollsters, who lieth to the people with false doctrine and false principles. For he turneth Silver to tin, and layeth waste to the polls of RCP.
  7. And still, he gloateth in the face of the children of Hollywood, those who are perverted with self-righteousness and smugness of Cain, who moveth not after promising to flee to the Land of the Beaver and Beer.
  8. And he gloateth in the face of Jeb the Weak.
  9. And again he gloateth in the face of the Harlot of Hell, by offering pittances for the works of fire that she ceaseth.
  10. And there were many more gloats that Trump offered. But he endeth it for a season as he turneth his gaze to find those who helpeth him to Make America Great Again.
  11. And Trump brought forth Sessions, and the People of Trump Gloated.
  12. And Trump brought forth Mattis, and the People of Trump Gloated.
  13. And Trump brought forth Bannon, and the People of Trump exceedingly gloated, where no gloat had ever gone before.
  14. And Trump brought forth Pruitt, and the worshippers of the Climate weeped and wailed, and gnashed their teeth. Yet the People of Trump heartily gloated.
  15. Yea verily, the People of Trump gloateth for several more appointees, but some of the People did not gloat abundantly.
  16. And when the season was near an end, there began to be voices of conflict, for there was one who crieth out for recount, in the lands of Trump victories, and the people were troubled.
  17. But this time of angst ended, and the People returned to gloating after a second victory over the Harlot.
  18. And Trump began the Gloating anew by heaping praise on his people, to be with them personally in spacious buildings to go from land to land to gloat and to gloat for those who could no longer gloat.
  19. And words cannot describe the gloating that took place in those lands, for it was a wondrous and uplifteth the soul. But behold, we saw that the People gloated, for we witnessed it in our own lands and testify of the truthfulness of it.
  20. The People and Trump continued to gloat, and where it may end, no man knoweth, and it mattereth not.




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