1.In the Year of our Lord 2015, in the sixth month, there
began to be contention throughout the Land of America. For behold, the people were gathering in
their lands to cast their lot to determine their next leader.
2.And there were several politicians afoot, seeking the high
seat of the land, none being able to bring forth much cheer from the people of
the land who have been set adrift by the nobility classes.
3.But lo! The Donald descended from on high, whilst his feet
moveth not one whit, and announced with a voice that shaketh the ground, that
he will make this nation great again.
4.And the mocking was severe. For the media laughed him to
scorn, and dismisseth his attempt as child-like, that he was not serious,
clownish, and would fall soon by the
5.For there were many others that layeth claim to the
Republican banner. And they each cried out: “chooseth me! For I am the one to
lead this nation back to prosperity. I am the one who reacheth across the
aisle. I am the one that the media loveth!”
6.And the Nation was in turmoil, as the people were
scattered in whom they would choose. They looked for someone to undo the evil that had infested the land.
The Huckabee, the Walker, the Santorum, The Paul, The Guiliani, the Christie, The Son of a
Mailman, each had their flocks, yet they were few in number.
7.Then the neurosurgeon, Carson who was gifted on high with
the power to cleave the brain and soft-spoken. And Fiorina, who was gifted at
taking successful companies and runneth them into the ground, a true Whore of
Babylon. But yet, their flock was small and fell by the wayside as their roots
were not deep.
8.However, the Rubio and Jeb were beloved by the Cucks, for
they seemed fair to their eyes. Rubio
was young and pleasant to their eye, who would bring in the vote of the
Hispanic to the Party. Jeb, being from
the Tribe of Bush would be the favorite, for his mother wanteth him seated at
the throne, after saying that he shouldeth not run.
9.But Rubio attended parties that foameth, and lieth to his
constituents with his push for the giving of Amnesty to invaders from the
Southern Countries, in which the voters speweth him from their mouths
10.And no one clappeth for Jeb, despite the spending of his
filthy lucre, for he boasted that he would win without the lowly base of the
party. For energy, he lacketh as Trump made plain for all to see.
11.And then there was Cruz, the outsider, the one who
self-annointed the title of Most Conservative. And was pleased unto himself of being the only true conservative that
12.And Trump destroyeth them one-by-one. Until
there was only the Son of a Mailman and the lone True Conservative
left. But the Son of a Mailman was a
phantom only, with a voracious appetite.
13.And Trump layeth waste to both, after ceding the land of
Corn and Ethanol to Cruz, which Cruz
stoleth. Then Cruz appealeth to the
pious, for he braggeth that he was the most pious of all in the land which his
father, a friend of the one who shooteth a Kennedy, confirmed as to Cruz’s
14.But Trump was denied not. He taketh the Land of the Gator
and Daytona from the one who loveth the foam, ending the foamers bid, and he
sulked away as he was rejected by how own people.
15.And Trump tooketh the South, which causeth the enemies of
Trump to riot, to attack, and to block access to see Trump in his magnificence.
Despite the attacks, the People continued to cast their lot on Trump, and Trump
lept fences and highways to see his people.
16.For the Spirit of Trump moveth across the darkness,
bringing light to those with a broken Spirit, to lift up those who were
17.And desperation set in on Trumps enemies, for they saw
that his path to defeat the others was clear, and they set up stumbling blocks to
stop him. But Trump stompeth on the blocks, reducing them to dust.
18.And Trump taketh the title from the Republican Party
which destroyeth the power of the Cuck and restoreth it to the People.
19.And the People of
Trump girded their loins with the armor of truth and liberty to battle the
Bitch of Benghazi and her legion of media harlots.