Sparta Report

A Message to the Anti-Trump Protestors: Be Original

While tuning into the circus that is the post-election “protests”, I started wondering what advice I would give an upcoming protestor if they gave me their ear. This is what I came up with:


Be original. When you look into the sea of people taking to the streets you notice a few things. Every protestor looks acts and says the same thing. It’s almost like there’s a factory turning out drones who after receiving two days of training from the Mao School of Good Citizenry, run directly to a store in Berkley where they sell the standard SJW uniform. Purple hair, check. Lip ring, check. Chuck Taylors, check. Nerd glasses check. Once all of their gear is squared away they all run out with the same 3×5 card which reads, “Racist, Sexist, Xenophobe”.


I say why not be original for a change? To start, if someone really is a racist, sexist, xenophobe, try giving some examples that are true. “He just is” makes you look stupid.


Next I would ask, what’s with the purple hair and shit in your face? If your goal is to try and be counter culture you really missed the mark. See you’re just regurgitating punk rock from the 80’s and you’re doing it wrong! Really you just look like crap. Try this on for size. Make yourself look presentable if you want to be treated like an adult and taken seriously. Remember it’s ok to be pretty.


Next, can you please stop it with the “up talk”? Why does the pitch of every SJW’s voice go up at the end of every sentence? You sound like a valley girl from 80’s (I’m noticing a theme here) and again YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! Why not break away from the norm? Try this. Speak like you’re older than 12. Well-spoken people are respected more and tend to have more impact on people with the things they say when they speak with clarity.


Next, stop being hypocritical. Saying that you believe in peace and tolerance, while at the same time beating the shit out of Trump supporters because your horse lost, isn’t exactly what I’d call consistency. If you want to get violent, I can’t stop you. However I would caution you on a couple of things. Be prepared for what will happen to you if you do this. You can only push people so far. One day someone is going to fight back and when they do it will be with the ferocity of a battered spouse and you may not live through it. Calling timeout won’t be an option. Second keep your message consistent with your actions. If you want to “burn it down” then say so. Remember nobody likes a hypocrite.


Last, and probably most important, articulate a coherent argument. The buzz phrases that every SJW uses (see above) are tired. Read and learn about what you’re fighting for rather than repeating what everyone else is saying. As they say knowledge is power. When you have knowledge you can prove your point more effectively when debating. With that said, this piece of advice probably makes the others irrelevant because when you become educated I doubt very much you’ll be a SJW.

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