This is an important update to the most important news story of 2016. No, it’s not about Trump or Hillary. And it’s not even about Hurricane Matthew.
No joke: Big, floppy shoes to hit the pavement this month in Clown Lives Matter march against profiling https://t.co/DFXmQm5w0G
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) October 6, 2016
Now that the growing hysteria over creepy clowns has been broached by the White House press corps, non-creepy clowns are looking for a way to restore their reputations as harmless entertainers of children of all ages.
People who thought they one day might be sitting in the Oval Office have been cowed into apologizing simply for uttering the phrase “All lives matter,” though, so how will “Clown lives matter” fly? Most likely well under the radar, but professional clowns are serious about the damage creepy clowns are doing to their livelihoods.
No, the organizers aren’t claiming it’s going to be a million clown march, but one entertainer told KGUN9-TV that the Tucson gathering will be “a peaceful way to show clowns are not psycho killers.”
Until then, rest assured that although the creeping clown terror is real, the Washington Examiner’s Kyle Feldscher is on it. He notes that a performer named Snuggles the Clown recently let the media know that creepy clowns are no laughing matter, and that they’re ruining his job.
Hang in there, folks. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until the authorities rescue us from this public menace. Until then, I, Doomberg, will continue to risk my safety to bring you updates. Hm, what’s that noise? It sounds like squeaky shoes behind m-